now that i'm here in your skin.

you're starting to deserve this.
I can't even lie anymore, you really need to calm down.
You really need to slow down when they tell you.
You really need to give me a little sympathy, because it's nothing more than you thought. But I don't even want it so just, stay away.
I don't need anything. I don't need this sympathy.
I can handle anything, but I can't handle you? I can't handle your intensity?
These words aren't so easy to say as they are to think about.
I hope you find whatever it is you really need. Whatever it is that will finally make you smile and lead you into happiness.
Somewhere over the rainbow there are clouds of ecstacy waiting for you to climb aboard, relaxing in a zen garden eating acid from god's palm.
You have no morals.
This is a violent pursuit. Dangerous.
You will never find true happiness, you left it here with me.
I can see you coming, I'll start running. I hate the way you care.
Stop lying, I hate the way you tell me, it's never really here.
My skin is crawling at the thought of you here.
And my fingers won't let me feel, touch.
Gravity is starting to hate me. Starting to pull me under the covers.
It's all a conspiracy and a secret.
The world can never know.

Locking up certificates that merely give away ones ideas. They weren't brilliant, but they weren't pointless either. Sometimes you need to be given a bit of time to think about how you are going to change your life.
Once in awhile you need to say you are sorry for the things you have done, and the problems you have caused.
Dear, - - - - -
you aren't there, and I'm sorry for your loss. We apologize for any inconvenience that this may have caused in your daily struggles and triumphs.

We can't always be right, we can't always be wrong.
But you, sir, are so blown out of proportion.
So rediculous, it's clearly lies. And we laugh as you tell your stories. you think the laughter is good but it's not. The giggles of knowing who you are behind your tattoos and peircings. The tough exterior you have thrown over yourself can be pushed away by a cop with a gun.

And this is all we have.
The chance to see, the chance to be, something you always wanted.
It's never real enough to taste.
It's not even how you feel on the outside that counts.
It's inside of you, it's the reality of moving forward into adulthood.
Away from childhood. The toys become business suits.
It's terrifying. It's unrealistic.
How can this be happening to me? To....me?

I'm wearing you on my heart. I'm not on fire anymore.
This is a tragic ending to sad story.
But tragic times become something more. Things become resolved.
As the snow melts.
====== ===== ===== ==== == =
Just, sometimes I need to be sure that you really feel the same way. That you aren't pushing me away from you when I just need to get closer. When your legs shift left with mine. Just hold my hand and tell me something good. Just whisper in my ear that we'll leave this place together, and we'll make it out alive. Look at me in my eyes and smile like you care, like you know what I'm saying when I say it. when I tell you, and when the world shatters behind my cold tongue. The lies can't be felt anymore. I'm safe.

They will wrap you inside the trunk, and take you away.
Take you away.

scareddd as heeellllllll

chew your words and spit em out.
or swallow, whatever makes you feel literate.
whatever makes you uncomfortable.
I don't care if you're upside down, or sideways.
As long as it's you.
I don't care how it comes as long as it gets here soon.
Strangle yourself, you're so fed up with this world you call home.
you. me. millions of tiny people surrounding us.
millions of animals that I've never seen.
I hope you're not serious about this.
I hope you don't think you can just do this.
Walk in like you own the fucking place.
You barely own your fucking head, it's falling off your shoulders.
You can't even stand up straight.
This is a problem, and I don't agree with your sentences.
I don't agree with the way you place things on the counter.
You need to move that to the left. To the right.
you know, I have needs, and wants.
I have secrets, it's not important though.
you're not important though so what does it matter?
Broken, and shattered like nothing I've ever seen.
Open up your eyes and let it all consume you.

shut up and put your hands on the wheel.
Hands so tight your knuckles are white.
And you can feel it pressed against your temple.
Waiting to let go and blow you away into the other side.

Acid does that, makes you kinda crazy, makes you kinda insane.
Fucks you up, like, you don't know. You're gone man.
It's satan in your head telling you what to do.
Telling you..
kill them all.

Look at you, you're so lame man. you burnt out years ago.

decades ago.

we aren't happening

If everything happens for a reason, then tell me what anyone does to deserve this.
If everything is meant to be..then I don't want to be this anymore.
You're not you anymore, but I'm still me.
If this is what you wanted then it's here.
Here for you to take
For the taking, withdraw.
Breathe just to feel.
Feel just to be.
You're no more real than the last thing I made up.
The last thing I saw taunting me.

what's the verdict?
What was the crime?

Renovate your life.
Because nothing is ever good enough.
Nothing is ever sweet enough.
Nothing is ever cool enough.

and you were never good enough.
They warned you, told you.
Held you down, tied you down.
Chained you to the ground.

It's too complicated when you are the centre of the circle, the centre of the universe. The middle of attention but only in the worst of ways. Clearly, it's clear. Crystal.

Maybe I like the fact that you don't like me.
Maybe I enjoy you whispering behind my back.
Like the fucking prick you are.
If you really hated me, you'd say it to my face.

Nothing really works that great for you anymore.
You broke it all.
It's been cut away and you can't get it back. Not now.
======
=======
========= Shove it bitch.
Cutting out your life. Cutting out what was reality but it's goneeeee.
Hey you, right there. Summer's over so you can get on with the real world.
Think of this moment. Think of right now. Think of everything you aren't.
My eyes burn, but you can't hear.

Save yourself. cut yourself. be what you wanna be.
Do what you wanna see.
Feel what you gotta be.
Make yourself happy by redecorating yourself to be "the shiznick."
Man, they think you're so awesome.

Wood. Burlap.
Battle stations. It's all around you. So try and push it away.
Keep it close to your mind, but far enough to be saved.

Make yourself, build yourself.
Be loved. Be hated.
Keep yourself full of confidence and watch me
Deflate.

I wanna see it all, I wanna know it all.

I walk by just to remind myself.
I just need to know I'm still here.
I just want to deny myself.
it's not like it matters how it seems.

It matters how it is. how we feel. How we feel numb from the neck down.
Nothing is real unless I can't wake up.
It's real, because I'm not waking up.
No matter how hard I pinch myself I can't seem to breathe.
You can't seem to breathe.
Wake up. Wake up, please.
I just knew this was going to happen one day, and I can't expect you to be fine.
It's happening, and it's worse then before.
----------------------------------------------

I never cared about wallpaper, or how you part your hair.
I never cared about anything that was reality.
I can't handle reality without the sweet lie on top.
Answer. Question.
Ask me anything you can't know.
I won't tell, not now, not ever.
It's not for your mouth to hear.
It's not for your ears to taste.
I lost the date, I lost the time. I lost everything that I needed and gained what I tried to discard. It's all inside the radio, yelling at youm telling you to do something, telling you to get up man, you're fuckin useless.

I knew I was gonna do this. I knew you were gonna yell.
It's just rediculous man, it's just out there man.
shave your beard and lets goooo.
Lets get ouuttaaa hereeee
I'm fuckin outta my heeaaaddd.
It's fuckin everyywherreee
In the ceiling, crawling into cracks into the floor.
what will we do when the aliens come to suck out our lives maaaan.
we're gonna fuckin runnnn mannn.
to the hills maaaann.

Then they landed, on that building by the water,
they ARE that building by the water. Hovering over us all along.
It's like, surreal, it's like..not real.
fuckin eh. they underestimated me.
Those fuckin little men with their fuckin little hats.
With all the hate they could cram in both pockets.


With all the hate they could cram into their minds.

durrrrrrr eamming

we're not here.
We're invisible to the eye.
Dreaming in a chain reaction.
Of lights. Lighting my way.
Invincible.
don't you wish you could withstand anything, everything.

But nobody knows you.
you. you. you.

Everyone realizes what YOU are.
Which could be nothing. Or just plain scum.

He, is different. Not like you. So different and I love every minute that I see him. So different, and I love how he can make me smile.
It's not like you didn't make me happy at the time I thought you were everything, I just didn't realize how much better it could be. How much more I could feel, without the pain part.

crawling through the milky way.
into blankets in my bed.
into something more then what you told me.
into a tunnel of dreams made of stars.
you can't blame yourself for what you did you can only blame your heart.
you can only blame your stupidity and the fact that you don't care.
I don't need this.
It's far too exhausting.
time consuming.
not worth it..
not worth anything.

Now that he's here I could ask for nothing more.

Contol.
is over rated.


So let youself gooooo..

welcome to the machine.

This is a foolproof method.
It will win over everyone.

New and improved. 100% natural.
200% you.
It will cause an eruption. Earthquakes.
Rapture. Confidence decline.
Buy, Sell, Trade.
Come in and have a seat. Take a seat in my chair.
Stand up.
Stand up.
Quicker. and be quiet.

It will win over everyone.
it will make everything better.
It will cure all illness.
It will restore a blind mans sight.
An old mans youth.
It will save your soul.

I guess we never stopped to think about how much we lost.

I don't remember losing you.
But there's nothing like it.
Nowhere near it. Miles away.
Running down the ramp of a neverending song.

It's probably the best thing since sliced bread.
but since no one wants what we're selling we'll never really know. I guess. I know. Who does? It's over. you lost. I lost. No one wins in this game anymore.
It's not fun when you cheat to lose.

I've always wanted to tell you.
I've always wished my mouth wasn't so shy.
My eyes weren't so closed.
Why can't I just open them and let it out to the world.
Look into the world.


And then my brain went frozen.


My cat sleeps all day and runs around all night.
she likes to wake me at 3 am by sitting on my face.
I think she's nocturnal.

Peace like the middle east.
Oh the irony..

people don't want to see it

capture the truth. in images.
people don't want to see it. frollicking among our eyes.
making it harder to see what is ahead.
maybe that's what it is.
The truth. covered in sweetness making it all that you want it to be.
A lie.

for every man. every woman.
for every mother. every father.
every son. every daughter.
every soul.

It dissapeared.
It's gone because we can't face it.
We can't look in the eyes of the beast and let it all unfold into more. Bigger. Outstanding. You have to call the number in your mind. you have to look into the mirror and pull into reverse.
We destroyed something so beautiful, so truthful
the world wasn't ready for something so harsh but real.
so real.. it's not.
so close.. it's not.

Wake up.
Smell the coffee, the roses.
Whatever.
Look up. say cheese.
smile.
frown.
whatever. right?
wrong?

First day. last chance.

Less security. Nothing holding you up.
you're lost.
inside nothing.
cobwebs in your head. climbing. staring.
right into the end.

do you feel so secure now that she's gone?
do you feel so loved now that she left?

she hates you. she left you.
she forgot you.

she forgot you.

how does it feel?
Tell me. even though I understand.
even though I don't really care.
and all the curiosity in the world couldn't get me near it.

good luck.