How I made a million dollars contd'

The bathroom...oh it's so cold against the skin I sit in. And I'm just naked and lost in my own head, in my own home. So I dip myself into the tub of ice and I just sit there for a couple minutes thinking my body is about to shut down. I'm thinking my whole life is about to shut down cuz no one ever wants to save me anyways.
My minds racing but my body's so numb it just doesn't matter. My organs must be pretty much black and blue. I'm sore and achy and I'm just weightless. I don't want the ice cubes to melt but what's left of my body heat is making it turn all watery. So I stand and I feel the ice cubes sticking to my cold hard skin. I feel and look like I should be dead. So why am I still alive?
I walk towards my fridge but I just fall there and lie naked, with the air conditioner fanning my blue ass. Even my eyeballs are frozen.
I'm a damn mess but no one can see me anyway. No one is there to assess the damage so far so I roll onto my back and look down at myself. I can feel my neck snapping as I look down to my damp and cold self. My nipples are purple and I might as well have a number tagged on my fuckin' toe.

He always told me not to lock the doors. I never listened, I'm kinda rebellious you know? I like to fight the norms and sanctions of society and make a fool of myself for the whole community to see. Like when I took 6 hits of acid and ran out in the streets naked yelling that the devil was gonna eat everyone's god damn soul. No one listened. Just like me.

He was always right, that's what they're gonna tell me tomorrow night when the peel my dead body off the damn linoleum floor I paid for 6 months ago after I tore all the carpets out because my brain kept telling me there were spiders underneath it. Fuck it all, right?
I haven't paid my bills for nearly 3 months.
My dad's gonna kill me.
I lost Annie's favourite shirt, too.
Not to mention I still haven't told that fucker John that I hate his damn guts.

I guess the big news can wait another day.