When I've run out of better things to do, that's when I'll come home. I promise. But you know, I have a lot of activities that could take up all my time, leaving none left for anything else. Sorry about that, but you know, maybe you should just take it as a hint. This is a hint, from me to you. What sort of hint, you ask? Take a guess, old boy. I know that you're ever so good at making guesses. Making assumptions. Taking someones words and twisting them into tall tales and troubling lies. What you call your masterpiece is really nothing but a fucking joke.
Well, now that I've let that out, we can get to the point.
The point of me being here is to break down your ego into several small portions. Each portion represents different things in your life.
Some of these include:
Cheap wine
Bad music
Fixing cars
Chasing birds
Going to the movie theater alone.
Now that we've summed that up...I can continue onto what I feel is more important than your sad excuse of hobbies and a life. Well, what I see in front of me is bigger than a sac of potatoes, but hardly smaller than a rather obese man. Could you please step down from the table?
Thankyou.
so I guess you've decided what you think you will be doing for the rest of your life. Get married to some pretty young thing, knock her up a few times, watch her get fat, sad, and depressed, then quickly decide you no longer want what you once thought you desired. Alright. So you can leave town and start somewhere new. Desert your once happy family and make a new one, then leave once again once you no longer fit the description of "picture perfect". Excellent. So now you can leave and perhaps move onto a bigger city? Nothing that you will like to much because, well, we wouldn't want you to love it so much you can't stand to leave eventually. Okay, so we'll settle with...Kingston. That sounds fine, yes? Alright.
so you've found something new to do, and someone new to deceive, but how will she feel when you let the cat out of the bag? So you get married, watch her squeeze out a few puppies, watch the household turn to shit, and oh my look at the time. Time to go. So you leave the now fat hag, who was once beautiful and youthful, to pursue yet another new dream. To ruin yet another lovely girl who never expected something like this. Ah, this time, it will be different, yes?
Oh, yes it will.
Toronto. that sounds rather suiting. Plenty of jobs, plenty of girls. You are set. So you hit the bars, have a few nights on the town, until you meet this lovely thing. She must be at least 12 years your junior. Her eyes sparkle like you've never seen, and her cheekbones are so perfect you could swear she must be plastic. That waistline couldn't get any more petite and fragile. Wait, have you seen her in a magazine? No, no don't be silly. She's a normal girl like the rest of the others that go to the slum on Thursday nights. After a few nights of dancing, and fun, you can't help but absolutely love her.
So theres months, then years, and here we go again. A wedding ring on her finger, absolutely darling I tell you. Shines like no other. He must really like this one, for once he didn't cheap out. So they're off enjoying their new life together. Baby number one...and look at that, not one stretch mark, not a single ounce of fat on that body just weeks after the birth. More, more, more babies. And he takes good care of them, oh yes. While she's off at the club making her rounds, he's home with 4 children. He must be wondering, what happened?
Her perfection drives him mad, and his beer gut doesn't make it much better.
And then one day, oh look at the time! Time to go.
And he's left all alone to tend for 4 kids. Oh my my, what a shame.
Karma's a bitch.
