Innocence

Without a trace of evidence, without memory, I'll drive away.
Forgetting everything, I'll get down with history.
Endings aren't happy, life can't end with you holding on like this. I'll toss and turn in my grave forever because of you. I'll never sleep. I'll never rest.
Surrender yourself.
Surrender hope.
Just for me, just for them.
Just to breathe.

Thankyou for the long talks that helped me realize my true self. The girl beyond the skin, the person within the shell. I can't forget you. Thankyou for the times you smacked my face, telling me you loved me, yelling the words I wanted to hear. It didn't matter in what context...as long as it was said. Thankyou for the feeling of heartbeats along my spine, your breathing pattern matching mine. It's all about the rhythm of how we make love. Bodies in perfect balances, symmetrical and stained with sweat. Stained with reminders of yesterday.
It almost hurts to remember how we fit together,
just like puzzle pieces.
And they're falling into place.

One more word, one more time. Tell me what the point of this mystery is. This affair of masques and ball gowns. As I rip away the silk and cotton, I see you staring hopelessly. I can deal with this. I can end this perfectly, as you ended me the night before.
Permanent scars on my soul.
Never leaving me be. Never.

"Will you stop and see me later on?"
The eyes of the charmed are seducing, frightening.
They capture me so easily, barely trying.
"I can't," I cough and look away.
"Well you should. I have nothing better to do, you may as well come over and make love to me. I know you don't have anything better for yourself, huh?"
I shiver.
I shake.
I cry for a glimpse of the sun, but it's been days.
So I give up and take the hand that feeds me the lies.
The lies I willingly swallow back with no regret.

We head back into the forests and he consumes me like a snake would devour their prey. Slowly, gently, the venom enters me, sinking beneath my skin. I'm taken aback as the pain is suddenly noticeable, but soon enough the numb feeling takes over, causing a smile to spread across my lips. I'm absent minded in this dream. Barely there, accepting kisses from the demon who I hate so much. There was something in there, bewteen us. Warm and tingly. Passionate and fierce. My teeth chatter as he makes his way up my leg, so gone, so lost. I can see it already, my hair messing as he pushes me down into the dirt, my dress wrinkling as he lifts it over my shivering torso. Leggings ripping and stretching when he decides they need to get out of the way. I hate myself as he saves me, I bite his neck as he pushes me deeper in the ground. I wish he'd bury me when we're through, but that could be awhile. My eyes close tightly and I feel the stabbing pains, his pleasure, my sin. I cannot breathe, I cannot swim away in the sea of soil. As long as he's happy, as long as he's grinning after he's done.
"Come on baby, why so glum?"
He questions me, though the trim of my dress covers half my face. Like he cares about the upper portion. I can't answer, all I can do is lay there motionless. He seems angry, and the fire inside him blows up in an explosion of rage. "Cheer the fuck up, you're the one who got yourself into this..." He continues, harder, and the tears can't be held back any longer. They fall from my eyes slowly, and the ground absorbs them as they fall so silently. It's my fault...yes it is my fault. He gets his way every time, he can't lose. So to save myself from another threat with a knife, I let him fuck me instead.