lead you in

I think she can sense when our eyes meet.
Locked on, so serious.
completely in control of all these desires I hold so precious.
In my own way, I keep still on my feet.
Somehow I walk forward as I wish you were mine.
Listening intently to the nothingness inside
Holding my heart and leading the blind.
I won't be alone tonight.
I won't stay away. I'll taunt you forever.
Just like you taunt me.
When you ask me to leave, I'll never obey.
I've begged for your absence.
I know
I know
Time can heal my failing organs
But with your face passing by,
It's hopeless.
It's endless.

I want to wake up never knowing you existed.
The pain would never be felt again.
I just need a new lover to mourn over.
A new project to dissect.

I'm so sick of pulling myself apart to discover the same old useless facts, I can't find a better way to make it better on the outside. The freckles aren't a part of me as I rip them from my skin. The part of my hair will cease to be on the left, but the right. The blue in my eyes will slowly turn to black. The colour of pink youth will drain from my face. I'll change anything to be unrecognizable. Put my old self in a box, set it off into the distant waters.
I want to celebrate my new beginning.
So gather around my old pain and watch it descend.
Watch it all float away.