My last apology

Today I'm going to make a difference.
I'm going to live more, laugh more, talk more, smile more, love more.
Because I'm sorry for the days I let it pass me by. The fact that I ignore what I feel is difficult to face. And it is only a reflection of how I feel towards the past. I like to forget things, but you always want to sit down and talk about it. I don't. I hate reminiscing on the times I wanted to curl up in the corner and forget about the world. Forget about you, and the day we met. I can't force myself to listen, I'll merely block you out. It's the easiest way. It's the only way.
Don't apologize. Not to me. Can't you notice that every other word out of my mouth is, "sorry". Sorry for you. Sorry for me. Sorry for the world and anything that ever happened within it. Because when the first atomic bomb dropped we all died a little bit on the inside and out. How can we forgive ourselves after we destroy what we create? How can you let me live on only to realize that it was all a lie to protect what hardly matters. Your mouth is crystal and my eyes are coal. I could smash whats worth everything to me. I could tear apart the only thing that makes me smile, weep, laugh, kill.
Death sentences for us all! That's the price of murder, so tell me what it is we did to come to this unfortunate end. We've finally encountered whatever it was that we were always waiting for, and he came in a shiny box covered in diamonds and silk. He told us that our lives were merely nerve endings waiting to be thrown away, like they threw away your umbilical cord after 9 months of love. 9 months of happiness ended so abruptly as you entered the cruel place we call earth. So cold and filled with greed. Hurting for a smaller population and you are only another problem that will continue to violently rape her. And she cries. She cries. The rain are her tears, the storms are her revenge.
And we cry. We cry. We mourn. We wish. We pray.
But it never works, it only will when you look me in the eyes
and with one last breath
you slowly gasp
I'm sorry

hello. and goodbye.
short days, long nights.
regretting every single pill I ever swallowed.
Tormenting every soul I ever loved.
It's how life goes.
It's how life ends.
But how did it begin?
When and where did the action take place? She must have smiled at the beginning. It's always perfect then. As we sink towards the finish line I can see the bodies burning. But what else I see...can't be too certain. Could it be a faint grin? It rests upon those lips that smell like love. She's more than content to watch us suffer as she did. We drown in the sand as she holds our heads below the surface. We deserve this. We earned this. We worked hard to achieve this graceful death, this mindless attempt at escape.

I welcome you to mother nature's slaughterhouse.
She frowned as you erased her beauty piece by piece, but now...
it's all turned around.
The hunter becomes the hunted.
They prey becomes the killer.
And we all fall out of the safe haven we never truly knew.