I'll show them, all of them

I'll show you that I am made of something more than these limbs of weak and brittle fibre, that crack at the thought of something like a heartbreak.
A meltdown. Right there, how embarassing.
A mental breakdown.
And my heart is so weak that when I think of you and the memories I can't help feel a tear behind my eyes. It can't be this bad can it?
This can't be all we have?
One life in the world.
Or can we leave this body and find something new.
Refreshing.
This is only our shell, and we have to leave it eventually.
To haunt those we care about.
Our family.
Our friends.
We will open the door for them, be their sheild when they run that red light.
The barrier between you and me is heaven,
and the stars are rather thick.
Too much to cut through, to reach you.

Remember when you took me to the game?
Go sting go!
Remember when we watched catwoman, the surround sound so loud that the house was vibrating, keeping everyone awake.
Remember when you would pick me and not let me go until I told you that you were my favourite cousin.
Remember at the family reunion taking us to wendys, and seeing the prostitutes as we got deeper into the downtown.

I remember. I could go on for pages.
But I don't need to do that to myself.

It's hard to see you lying there, defenceless and no longer breathing,
when you could pick me up and throw me around like it was nothing just last week.

I never saw this coming.